I feel both crunk and exuasted after typing that. I'm not sure how people manage to type lik that all the time. They must have supermegafoxyawsomhot ninja reflexes.
As i promised in a post post script of my last post, i will now take you into a deep, dark, frightening world. the world of fanfiction!!
Occasionally, when i am buried in boredom, i get a ticket to nerd-dom, and, after a fruitless trip to wattpad, i delve into fanfiction. Trust me, it is a rather scary place at times. What happens, basically, is people use characters and events from books, shows, movies, et cetera to create stories with said elements. Sometimes, it actually turns out to be entertaining. Other times, when the creators of MarySue's so poorly made that it is concieveable that the writers on wattpad might actually be able to create a stronger character, it turns disastrous. They shove themselves into a story, forcing a character from whatever they are fanficking to fall in love with them, impressing all with their talents, infinite knowledge, and stunning good-looks, completely destroying a story that could have been relatively interesting, had they not used the most low and cheesy of all amateur literary techniques. It is obvious that they have too little of a life to imagine themselves with people who exist or to create their own characters. Whew. I feel better now! So back to my exposition on the three strangest things on fanfiction. Well, really four, but two of them are lumped together.
The first. Whump. Yes, we are all suckers for a smidgen of well-placed whumpage, but it should not be too obvious or the center of a story. Really just as an accent. Like yellow icing on a purple cake.
Next, Sniffle!fics and Hurt!fics. A Sniffle!fic is a story, usually a one-shot, which is a short story often having less than four thousand words and consisting of one chapter, in which the writer inflicts a horrible cold on a character, leading another character to care for his or her ill compadre. Okay, we get that characters might seem adorable to you writers when they have snot dribbling down there faces like mayo off of a tomato and ketchup sandwich, but, to many, it's really rather strange. Not even Neal Caffrey could be that adorable with a cold, flu, strep throat, pneumonia, bubonic plague, and/or a hangover. Hurt!fics are stories in which a character is harmed in some way that often leaves them concious, such as a broken nose, concusion, twisted ankle, or bullet wound, placing them in the care of another. Okay, there are only so many times you can shoot Shawn Spencer before his internal organs completely fail. And those of us waiting for a sixth season of Psych would prefer that that doesnt happen.
And, last on the agenda, ships. Also known as pairings and relationships. Basically, who you would put together. There are many creepy ships out there. Fancreepulous, even. But, for the sake of America's shortening attention spans, I will cover only ten. A Not-Tuesday-Ten, if you will. Here are some of the creepiest pairings, in no particular order.
1. McNozzo. Tony DiNozzo and Timothy McGee from NCIS. Brotherhood dont go that far. This is excluding Arkansas, of course.
2. GideonReid. Jason Gideon and Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds. Someone can't spot a father son when it's dancing in a hula skirt and waving pompoms in their face!
3. Tibbs. Tony DiNozzo and Gibbs from NCIS. Again. It needs to be a father-son kinda deal.
4. Shassie. Shawn Spencer and Carlton Lassiter from Psych. There are too many things wrong with that for all of them to fit on one blogpost.
5. Zabby. Abby Scuito and Ziva David from NCIS. This just makes me think "Really? You can't tell Tony and Ziva are straight and meant to be?"
6. NealPeter. Neal Caffrey and Peter Burke from White Collar. It's just weird.
7. ReidMorgan. Spencer Reid and Derek Morgan from Criminal Minds. Honestly....
8. Kibbs. Gibbs and Kate Todd from NCIS. Such an awkward, awkward pairing. Especially since Tony and Kate were meant to have a relationship, had Sasha Alexander not left the show....
9. McGiva. Timothy McGee and Ziva David from NCIS. Wait, what?!?!?
10. And, to finish it off, ElizabethPeterNeal. Elizabeth, Peter, and Neal from White Collar. ....No comment....
So that's the end of my fanfiction expose! Yeah, weird, huh?
And in case i dont see you, good morning, good afternoon, and good evening. CatCooper<3
P.S. Got a pairing or fanfic you think highly of? Email us at escapeoftheplotbunnies@gmail.com. You could get posted!!
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