CAN YOU HANDLE THIS BEASTLYNESS????

Welcome to another expose with CatCooper!!!!  After being enlightened to the world of fanfiction, aren’t you just ready for more?? 

Well, more is what you’re getting.  Whether you like it or not.  Or if you would like some waffles.  I would like some waffles….

You know how I always rant about wattpad and how it’s a refuge for nearly talentless writers whose pinnacle of literature is Twilight, which they manage to copy and reference at every turn?? 

Hmm….  That felt good.  I haven’t gotten to use the rant color in a while. 

Well, I’ll be your tour guide in the world of Wattpad.  Together, we will write a lovely (said the liar) story structured with a basic wattpad format. 

There are two basic premises for a story with wattpad.  Supernatural and realistic. 

Supernatural stories contain a human and their love interest, which is a (a) vampire, (b) werewolf, or, occasionally, (c) a dolphin.  Usually (a) and (b). 

Realistic stories involve a nerd’s transformation to an uber sexii popular drama queen, a love triangle, plenty of inaccurate details, and, rarely, plastic surgery. 

For the purposes of this report, we will be writing a basic realistic story.  Well, I’ll be writing a basic realistic story, and you’ll be hopefully reading. 

There are four steps to this process, in the simplest of formats. 

1. The Preamble—Basic characters are introduced and the reader is shown how positively horrid the protagonist’s life is.  The reader is also forced to come to the conclusion that the protagonist is uglier that an elephant’s bootie.  One part of the emerging love triangle is presented, usually as a seemingly perfect jock.  
2. The Metamorphosis—The protagonist undergoes a drastic change, making her the most beautiful in all the land.  (not really, more like the one steaming sexii out her nose and pores.  Occasionally, ears as well.)  Every straight male within 756,854,768,547 miles flocks to experience her beauty firsthand.  The second part of the love triangle is brought into the story, often being presented as a tortured, angst-filled, totally hot artist. 
3. The Fracas—The protagonist is presented with two types of conflict.  Firstly, her two romantic interests force her to choose between the two, which causes her great distress.  The second conflict has to do with her personally.  Her talents are challenged as she is introduced to the world of whatever she plans to pursue in life, often something that makes her world-famous overnight.  Or within an hour.  Maybe within five minutes. 
4. The Culmination—The protagonist chooses one of her two choices to be her boyfriend.  She continues with her career and lives a perfect life.  (a boring but necessary part of the story, as told by wattpad.) 

Are you excited to write this horrifyingly cliché story??

Yeah, me too. 

Hasta la bye bye from CatCooper